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Day Four: Writing 101: Loss

Today’s Prompt: Write about a loss: something (or someone) that was part of your life, and isn’t any more.

This is a three part series.  And, interesting enough, I lost three people within a three-month period all in the same year.  Writing about these losses will be very interesting to put in print.  I usually talk about these losses to my friends.  Writing about it is different.

The first loss was my mom.  She died on a Thursday, right around Easter, I forget which year, either 1995 or 1996.  Her death was a shock to all of us, my two younger sisters, and the rest of the family.  I took it hard because I thought we were beginning to get close.  The Sunday before she died, I took her grocery shopping.  I told her “I love you” as she was getting out of the car.  She responded “I love you, too.”  Little did I know those would be the last words I would hear.  I wanted more of those times, more hearing those words again. When I have told about this moment to people, some people have said that was a powerful moment to remember forever.  Now that I think about it, it is a powerful moment to remember.  The moment could have been worse.  We could have had an argument, or not even speak at all.  Although I wanted more, I am indeed grateful for that moment.a

All through my growing up, my mom and I were never close.  We “got along”, but we did not share a close relationship.  She seemed to have a better relationship with my younger sisters, or at least it seemed to me.  We rarely talked about female/woman issues: love, relationships, marriage, sex, health.  I remember as an adult when I tried to bring up those subjects.  She did not and would not talk about them.  According to her, everything was fine.

I have my own personal thoughts, although I will never be able to substantiate them.  My mom and dad were childhood sweethearts and they married young.  I believe my mom LOVED my dad and was very hurt, probably devastated when the marriage ended.  To add more to her broken heart, my dad remarried and stayed married for 30+ years.  My mom eventually remarried.  However, that marriage lasted sixteen years.  It was an abusive relationship, and all of us were glad when she finally moved out and divorced him.

One of the lessons that I learned from my mom is to be open about those female/woman issues.  I have been blessed, to be surrounded by a few sincere, God-loving friends and family, and we talk about these issues.  They know who I have loved, and how I was hurt when that love relationship ended.  They know about my other love relationships that ended badly.  We talk about female health issues, particularly heart disease and weight.  It seems that heart disease runs in our family and I try very hard to take care of myself with healthy eating and exercise.

Mom, we are doing well.

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Library Media Specialist in a Detroit public high school.

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